Ladies and gentlemen, it is time
to play the Midnight Gameshow. CHEERING Oh, yes. The contestants of the Midnight
Gameshow have been set up by their partner, who give
me the key to their home. In the dead of night,
I sneak in and wake them up to answer a series of questions. This is the only game
show where if you snooze… ALL: You lose! Tonight’s contestant is Jane. Jane, where are you? There’s Jane, ladies and gentlemen,
it’s Jane and Colin. Oh, Jane. Oh, we’ve met before… We have. ..haven’t we, Jane? And, Colin, you weren’t wearing… Were you wearing any clothes? I was. Certainly not on the top half. So, it’s lovely to see you. What I should tell the audience
right now, is that Jane, without a shadow of a doubt, has the best laugh of anybody I’ve ever
met in my entire life. SHE GUFFAWS Yes. LAUGHTER Now, Colin, of course,
you were there, shirtless, which was an extraordinary
thing to behold. SHE GUFFAWS See what I mean? OK, so you were a
primary school teacher. Yes, for 35 years, I was a… For 35 years. For 35 years. APPLAUSE AND CHEERING It would have been so fun to be
in Jane’s class. Thank you. Now I just wanted to
share that information because you did struggle a little
bit with some more basic questions. It’s the taking part
that matter, isn’t it? Yes. OK. All right, Jane, so… I’m excited to see this. Ladies and gentlemen, let’s
enjoy Jane’s Midnight Gameshow. CHEERING LAUGHTER FLOORBOARDS CREAK LAUGHTER FLOORBOARDS CREAK, LAUGHTER Jane! Welcome! To the Midnight Gameshow! What? Hiya, Jane.
THEY LAUGH Nice to meet you. And this is Colin. Hey, Col? How are you? Fast asleep, eh?
This is the Midnight Gameshow. We’re going to ask
you questions, Jane, and you’re going to do
your best to answer them. You up for this? Yeah, yeah. Name three types of pasta. Erm… Go on, Jane, you can do it. Oh, God, I can’t think of any, er… I know, it’s very difficult. You were sound asleep moments ago. Pasta. Oh, er… Here we go. That flat one. Pasta, the flat one.
Lasagne. No, no, no. Lasagne, pasta. We’ll take lasagne, yes, correct. Er, spaghetti. Correct, easy. One more. It’s going really well now. Come on, Jane. No, you can’t tell me. No, shhhh. Colin, enough. Shut up! LAUGHTER Thank you for that,
my co-host and contestant… All right, Colin
you can help subtly. Tagliatelle. No, that’s not helping subtly,
that’s saying the answer. OK, tagliatelle. OK, we’re going to need
to turn the lights off. What I’m going to ask you to do
now is to identify this ghost. I’m going to give you some clues, his first name begins with D. Any ideas? HE LAUGHS Surely that’s obvious! All right. He has a very, very
successful television show that started on Living TV. He would be incredible at this game. Now, you can ask your own questions. Have you got any
brothers and sisters? That’s a brilliant question!
LAUGHTER We’re going to be here a while! Sorry? What’s the answer? Yes. He does have brothers and sisters, has that narrowed it down? No! OK. I can tell you that he does deal
with the paranormal on television. The clue was that he would
be very good at this game, so what is this?
What are we doing now? Playing guessing games? No… I think you’ve got it wrong. Who are you? I’m Derek Acorah. It’s Derek Acorah, and
isn’t he looking well? Look at that. OK, now, Derek is going to
play a little game with you called I Sense. All you need to do is guess what
Derek is sensing in your bedroom, because he senses,
he can sense anything. I sense the letter C. He’s here. It’s something in your bedroom.
Oh, no… It’s in your bedroom, and you
know what? The initial C, yeah, he’s here for the right reasons,
but the C is important. Is it something that’s
normally in the room? No, it’s not. Oh. It’s not generally… Cat. THEY LAUGH Where’s the cat? Downstairs. SHE LAUGHS HYSTERICALLY OK, brilliant. Any other guesses on C? The ceiling. Ceiling? The ceiling is not normally here,
this is a new addition, is it?
LAUGHTER OK. Anything you can see in front
of you that might not normally be here? Anything that you can see? Crew!
Yes, I’ll give you that. Well done, it’s crew. Say thank you
to Derek, Derek Acorah, brilliant!
Thank you! Brilliant. Thank you. See you. OK, it’s time now to play
a game of human ring toss. This is a contortionist. All I’m asking you to do, Jane,
is if you can throw a hoop on to the leg of this contortionist. The foot is up, are we ready?
Play. Go. Keep going. Go on, Jane. Oh, she’s already done it! She’s
already… Keep going anyway. How many can you get? How many…
Oh, Jane is the man! Jane, keep going. Oh! Go for the
other foot. Go for the other foot. Oh! Two more, quick. All right, she’s coming down now,
that was amazing. I can do something! That was
extraordinary. Thank you very much. Thank you. All right, now, for this
next question, if you don’t mind
Jane, I’m going to need to ask you to get
out of bed, are you all right?
That’s fine, yeah, that’s fine. OK, so… Now, the question I’m going to ask
you is, who is singing in your shower? OK. OK? Yes, OK. When I say, “Go to the bathroom,” I
mean, go in to the bathroom. Yeah.
SHE LAUGHS OK. Thank you. All right. Here we go. Jane, who is singing in your shower?
OK. # Oh-oh-oh # But you’ll never stop me from
loving you # It doesn’t really matter
what you put me through # You’ll never stop
me from loving you. # Who’s that? Sonia?! Yes! LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE Very good. I love that! Very good, of course, it’s Sonia,
singing in your shower! LAUGHTER
Amazing! Thank you very much,
Sonia in the shower! APPLAUSE Come on, Jane, back to bed
for more questions. Sonia in the shower. OK. That was absolutely exceptional. OK. Please, can you now
tell me who this is? LAUGHTER It’s a Mr Man. Yes. Mr Happy. Keep guessing.
Mr Happy, no? Keep guessing. Mr Dancey, Mr Wobbly, Mr…
Keep guessing. Mr Somebody!
SHE LAUGHS It is Mr Somebody. OK, he’s trying to do
what he’s famous for here. Here he goes. One of you must… There you go. What’s he doing? What’s he doing?
Kissing. Mr… LAUGHTER What’s he doing, guys?! What’s he, what’s he trying to…
LAUGHTER What’s he trying to do?! Mr Kissy! No, he’s not Mr Kissy!
LAUGHTER What’s he trying to do?
Mr Tickle. Yes! That’s the correct answer. OK. The other question was to name
as many Mr Men characters, but you’ve named them all already,
in getting this one wrong. Jane, thank you very much.
LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE It’s gone dark. They’ve all gone.
Yeah. Go back to sleep.
LAUGHTER LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE Very good. Ladies and gentlemen,
Jane’s Midnight Gameshow. Very, very brilliant.
Thank you so much. That was so fun. Jane, Jane… Yeah. The problem with Mr Tickle is that
he couldn’t control his arms, so it was very hard… Yes, it was.
..to get him to do what
he was famous for. Yeah, yeah. But when you have no
control of your arms, you know, arms are kind of key to
tickling… Yeah, they are, yes. ..so really it was quite hard to get
that going. Very hard, yes. We do have some prizes for you. I’ve got you, of course,
this is a signed copy of Sonia’s album. There you go. Don’t ever forget that,
and of course we have Mr Tickle who’s going to, who also
has no control…
APPLAUSE Thank you so much. Mr Tickle, and
you cannot go away without receiving this – our iconic and very-much-upgraded “do not disturb” sign, for being
part of the Midnight Gameshow. Aw! Ladies and gentlemen, thank you so
much to Jane and Colin on the Midnight Gameshow.