If We Treated Teachers Like Pro Athletes – Key & Peele


(male announcer)
Teaching Center

is brought to you by BMW. The ultimate driving machine. [upbeat rock music] ♪ ♪ Hello and welcome
toTeaching Center.I’m Boyd Maxwell,
with today’s top stories from the exciting world
of teaching. And I’m Perry Schmidt. Well, now we know. The long awaited announcement
by star English teacher Ruby Ruhf has sent teaching fans
across the nation into a frenzy. I’ve enjoyed my time
in Ohio very much, but I’m pleased to announce
that I’m taking my talents back to New York City.
Thank you very much. Apparently, PS431 has made Ruby
an offer she couldn’t refuse. $80 million guaranteed
over six years, with another $40 million
in incentives based on test scores. This salary puts her
right up there with Rockridge Elementary’s
Katie Hope and William Wu
out of– Colgate Magnet! All right, let’s take a look
at yesterday’s high school teacher draft
from Radio City Music Hall, where Central Rapids High, recipient of the worst
test scores last semester, made the first pick
that was no surprise to anyone. [all cheering] For the first pick,
Central Rapids High takes… calculus teacher Mike Yoast
from Tulsa Teacher’s College. [all cheering] (Key)
And just like that,
you’re a millionaire. Ha ha. (Peele)
Mike Yoast
is an unbelievable story, his father living
from paycheck to paycheck as a humble
pro football player. Kid was a natural mathlete. You know he’s gonna buy
his mom a house. – Oh, you know this.
– Oh, there’s no way – around that.
– [laughs] You owe your mom.
[laughs] (announcer)
Today’s highlight of the day
is brought to you by the 100% Black Angus Beef
Thickburger on a fresh-baked bun
from Carl’s Jr. and Hardee’s. Now it’s time
for the highlight of the day. [rock music] Star history teacher
Ashley Ferguson has been running up them test scores
over at Vinz Clortho High. – Okay.
– Whoo. Confederate forces
fired first. Can anyone tell me
where this battle took place? Now, look at this. She looks left,
then right, looks past the students
with their arms up in the air, – spots Max near the back…
(Key) Whoo. Sees that even though his hand
isn’t up, he’s engaged. Max? It was Fort Sumter? That’s right. Oh, come on.
See what she did there? She’s bringing a introvert
into the discussion, y’all. That’s a teacher of the year
play right there. That’s right, Boyd.
You know, the confidence gained by Max by answering
that question correctly will enhance his performance
throughout the rest of the year. No doubt.
Coming up after the break, Mayfield Prep trades
French teacher Janeane Lowe to Skyline High
for a head librarian and two lunch ladies
to be named later. And we’ll get the inside scoop
on the impending – teacher’s strike that could…
– Uh-oh. Cripple the season. Next up,
onTeaching Center.Whoo. [rock music] [dramatic music] (Ruby voice-over)
Strength courses through me. I am velocity. I am power. [school bell ringing] ♪ ♪ I am a leader,
a believer. ♪ ♪ I am the force that guides. ♪ ♪ I am the gateway
to what is possible, the path to the future. I am the future. ♪ ♪ (male announcer)
The all-new 2015 6 Series
is here. Meet the new Teacher’s Pet.

100 Comments

  1. As a 30+ year teaching veteran (now teaching and learning in China), this actually made me tear up a little. We do indeed touch the future. GO TEACHERS!!!

  2. Unfortunately, this is just a comedy.
    It should have been reality, to make future generations more conscious and focused.

  3. Strength courses through me.
    I am Velocity, I am Power.
    I am a Leader, a Believer.
    I am the force that guides. I am the gateway to what is possible, the PATH to future. I AM THE FUTURE. -Karen 58 years old

  4. I was expecting Key and Peele to stand up after the broadcaster was over and them not wearing any pants as the highlight of the video.

  5. Wow. If only teachers and professions like that were shown as much attention and appreciation as this! Imagine the amazing children that would be raised!

  6. And to imagine that in the past teachers were actually the respected people in the villages. Notary/Mayor level respect… times have changed..

  7. Damm that teachers reads the field Bette than mayfield , she doesn’t just get stuck on he first option she looks the field for 2nd and 3rd options

  8. Ha! They said "Vinz Clortho High". Vinz Clortho was the demigod known as the keymaster, who possessed Rick Moranis' character in Ghostbusters. Nice reference K&P!

  9. Finally the teacher can look down on those instabitches saying "bitch I earn more money a second than you do in a year without having to show my fully legal cleavage, now read page 36!"

  10. This reminds me of Jay Leno asking high schoolers and college students about things from a 4th grade instruction book. They did not know anything about the actual world but a lot about people and things in the media including sports.

  11. This sketch is actually freaking amazing. What a good message. Jobs in education below college level are currently so undervalued.

  12. And the commentators, who are analysts who have never taught in their life, give criticism on a freshly out of college teacher who appears to be inspiring his students like no other teacher in the league but some would say he still not better than the "top dog" teach, Mrs. Clark who has been in the league longer and won 6 awards in Teaching excellence… yet they fail to realize that this new techer is better than Mrs. Clark EVER WAS…. the next step in teaching evolution has been made. Mrs. Clark, who was suspected of falsifying A's, will soon be retiring… but will she end her career a failure? Or will she take her victories home while she is ahead??? Time will tell….

  13. Is it weird I would actually watch this?

    Also I feel like this is definitely highly inaccurate of most teaching environments lol

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